Depression is not a cupcake. I'm sending cupcakes anyways.

Depression is not cupcakes.

I recently watched a video on Facebook where a guy told me my problem was IDENTIFYING with depression. Depression comes and goes but I'm still here, so I'm not depression, so stop saying you're depressed and you won't be. Are you as confused as I am? Depression is like diabetes, a MEDICAL reality, not a psychic one, as much as gurus would like so many of us believe.

However. The skilled person can do quite a lot while depressed. Why, right now I am roasting a chicken, and I just made instant chocolate pudding. Now that I learned we can no longer eat raw batter,* I scraped and licked the pudding from the bowl with more gusto than usual. I rarely have milk in the fridge, so who knows when the pudding mix is from, but it was delish, and now I have some pudding for another day, as licking the bowl was enough for me, thank you very much.

This weekend, I entertained my parents for Saturday dinner and Sunday breakfast. I showed off the latest progress in my apartment. (It no longer looks like a hoarder starter home.) It is still clutter-y, but we are making progress. After breakfast at Denny's, my folks and I went to church. I have returned to the Open Door,** after at least 5 years of being away. So it's a reunion every Sunday, people that didn't know I'm back, lots of great hugs, plus all the new people that have joined in the past 5 or more years. I've started hanging with a crowd that goes to lunch after church after Sunday, the "brunch crowd," and oh by the way, for July 4th, a new friend invited me to her house for Sunday dinner. Let's see. That's four "social events" already. Then my dear cousin Harold texts me Sunday afternoon, stopping through Pittsburgh, shall we eat a meal? Yes, let's do breakfast! It was so wonderful to spend some time with him and his two daughters, Hannah and Sarah. Harold is one of the most comfortable people I know.

Big accomplishment of the day: I finished Notorious RBG, (for a book club, or I would not have finished it) which was interesting because of the subject matter, but since this was really my first intro to the work of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, (yes, really),  the non-chronological scattered text was not helpful. I was SO GLAD to be done reading it! I skimmed a lot. I decided, since parking was FREE thanks to the HOLIDAY, to read for a while at what some of my friends call "Hogworts,"or what I call (by its actual name) the Cathedral of Learning, one of the classrooms for the University of Pittsburgh. *I* never had a class there. I finished the book sometime around noon.

I came home, ate leftovers, for lunch and napped all afternoon. Then I tried to read a drug store novel, blech, and then I went through each of the 15 library books stacked near my steps and decided that each one was too taxing on my brain and resolved to return each and every one to the library, tomorrow.

Right now I'm waiting for my chicken to "rest" so I can dig in, and I'm making some rice. I suppose I'll put together some veggies and a salad, even.

So, even though my brain does not have the power to read Vogue magazine at the moment, or any of the 15 or so books that are going back to the library tomorrow, I am still able to send you cupcakes and write a blog post. I am grateful.

One of the things I loved about RBG is that she was quick to be slow about things. Let's not rush. People aren't ready yet for that big idea, let's do this other thing and when wait on this one. I will search out more information about her, and I look forward to trying to say something intelligent at Book Club on Thursday night. I'll be making a cake between now and then. Lemon Pound Cake, glazed, my new favorite cake. (Yes, though I "send cupcakes," I prefer making actual cakes, go figure.)

Have a happy rest of the Fourth, and here, have a cupcake!

______________________
*Consumer Updates: Raw Dough's a Raw Deal and Could Make You Sick, fda.gov
**The Open Door is a Presbyterian (PCUSA) Church of which I was a charter member, located at the corner of Garfield, East Liberty, Highland Park and Morningside. (Someone will correct me on the last neighborhood if I'm wrong).

Sunshine on my shoulder... (John Denver)

I got sun burnt on Sunday. Badly. Possibly the worst sunburn I've had in YEARS.

I was having lunch with some new and old friends in a sleeveless sundress. Let's unpack that for a minute: lunch, outside, which means the time of day when the sun is its strongest. Sleeveless, which means well, no sleeves. Half of me was under an awning, so I didn't pay attention to the part that was NOT under the awning. Anyways. Foolishness. But I wouldn't have traded that sunburn, since it was a delightful hour or so of fellowship.

Somehow, because it is raining this morning, it reminded me of another foolishness, a day spent in Annapolis under a huge golf umbrella. It was a first date, and despite the rain, we were determined, hence the large umbrella. Though I am no longer in touch with the person under the umbrella, the day was a delight. Worth every wet moment.

The point I'm trying to make (yes, there is one...) is that we do foolish things. When we are happy we do foolish things, when we are sad, we do foolish things. It's a part of the creature part of our existence. Hopefully, though, we are wise, we wear our wounds, knowing that either we wouldn't have traded that lunch in the sun or that day in the rain, and knowing that we can't go back in time.

These are some of the things I'm thinking about these days, as I continue to heal from this depression, which lingers, waxing and waning like the moon in its cycles. Yes, I have wounds. But I also have joys, moments that I would not have traded, moments that would not have been possible if I had been well.

It reminds me of that quote from Silver Linings Playbook, a movie I saw in the theatre many many times, even dragging my mother to see it on a snowy day in January, when the roads were a little bit iffy for driving. (Foolishness.)

I was a big slut, but I'm not anymore. There will always be a part of me that is sloppy and dirty, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?  (Tiffany, as played by Jennifer Lawrence)

I think I'm getting there. Forgiving myself for the sloppy and dirty parts of me that will always be there. And smiling about the foolish things I've done when I was happy.

Where are the [expletive] cupcakes?

So by now you are probably scratching your collective heads. This blog's title is "Sending Cupcakes" but nary a cupcake here, so far. WHAT GIVES??

So lemme tell you a story.

Once upon a time, on Twitter, there was a girl who loved cupcakes so much that she tweeted about them daily. (It wasn't me.) Around the same time, Facebook stopped having those "fake gifts" where you could send someone an egg and three days later it became a bouquet of flowers. So one day, I "sent" someone cupcakes on Twitter. And then I was sending someone a tent to cover them in the rain while they stood at the bus stop. And it became big and messy and I was sending all kinds of things every time one of my Twitter (and eventually Facebook) friends had a bad or good day.

So I had to reign it in. JUST CUPCAKES. And I'd even say, when something like a tornado happened, sorry, all I have are cupcakes, they'll have to do.

So what's the deal with lemon cupcakes? You always say they are the strongest. 

Well they are. Because they have a shared love.

A dear friend of mine on Twitter and real life, Katie, was doing PhD work in New England. And she'd take the train up and she'd tweet, there's this place that has cupcakes, but the best ones are the lemon cupcakes, you should have one! And so she'd "send" me a lemon cupcake. (Maybe this is how "sending cupcakes" started?) Anyways, I always send her lemon cupcakes when things go pear shaped in her life, or I just write "LEMON" and she knows the secret hand shake. I decided (it's great, inventing things) that other people needed lemon cupcakes occasionally, too, and I say, Lemon, because they are the strongest.

Then there are Tappan Zee cupcakes. Best described in the blog post from another blog I started eons ago, called "Cupcakes N'at."  The thing about my cupcakes is that they are a thought. A little party in a paper cup. They are perfect for weddings, funerals, bad days, and tornadoes. And since they are just a thought, they can be whatever flavor you like, or they can be cheese, if you don't eat cupcakes. I send cheese to Sara Zarr when she's having a bad day, good day, or tornado. Sara generally gets Gouda, because it's my favorite cheese, at least visually. So cheery with the red wax cover!

So how do people know what you mean?

Well, if their dog died and I say "sending cupcakes," they get it. I'm sending them for their doggie funeral to cheer them up. If they just got engaged, they have the foresight to know that I'm sending the mazel tov kind of cupcakes. Sometimes, though, it's in the diction:

Oh sweetie, sending cupcakes. 
EXPLETIVES [sic]*, sending cupcakes. (I try not to swear on social media)
Sending cupcakes!!

I am possessive of my cupcakes. They are not to be used to amuse me. They do not climb, they are not ninjas, they are not acrobats. If you want to take over another type of baked goods, I'm good. But sending cupcakes is plain, no adornment needed. A cupcake is enough.

So if you were wondering, what is up with the cupcakes, now you know. I haven't made actual cupcakes in ages. I do have cake mix to make some, thanks to a suggestion from Elizabeth Mosier, but I haven't gotten around to making them yet. It's just easier to send a thought, and less mess, especially across the Internet.

Sending cupcakes,
Sarah Louise

P.S. I didn't forget today's joke.

It comes from a site called Cupcake Puns. They didn't have the exact wording, but I forgave them because they had other fun cupcake images and jokes. Go! Visit! We're done here! (Well, read the joke first.)

What's up, Cupcake?
Muffin Much, you? 

________________________
*sic erat scriptum, "thus was it written" [Thanks to this Wikipedia article]

How to save money while traveling (by car)

Hello again! Remember me, Sarah Louise, your favorite blogger? HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Today we are going to talk about saving money while traveling (by car.)

There are certain expenses you can't avoid if you own a car. You have to get the oil changed, you have to pay for gas, and then there is that pesky cabin air filter. Jiffy Lube wanted $79 to change it!! We'll be going to Auto Advantage to price them, thank you very much!! (I called the local car parts store and it sounds like the part is less than $20 and they'll install it too!)

But if you are taking a road trip (ROAD TRIP!) that's more than four hours, you're going to need supplies. The old Sarah Louise stopped at every rest stop, used the facilities, browsed in the shop, got a drink or a snack, and got back on the road. That is not the new new Sarah Louise. No, the new new Sarah Louise watches every penny go in and out.

It's quite amusing, especially when SL buys something, gets home, realizes she doesn't need it, and later takes an afternoon to return all the things she doesn't need. I'm working on "do I need this?" while I'm in the store, to save on gas, but in this post we're talking about road trips that last hours and hours, not errands around town.

Yes. Sorry. Where was I? Oh. Yes. Drinks. If you plan ahead, you don't have to just drink water. (I don't drink pop,* for the most part.) Get a bottle with a top. Yes, you will need to start saving bottles. For the purpose of this trip, I decided that I'd rather have iced tea for the trip than old lemonade in the fridge that was past it's expiration date by YEARS and that I was contemplating using in recipes. So the lemonade that I paid $1.50 for at Whole Foods back in 2013 is still saving me money!

Sarah Louise's Road Trip Iced Tea

Ingredients:
Tea bags
Sugar, to taste (optional)

Equipment:
A bottle (preferably glass)
Something to boil the water in (I use my fabulous Hot Pot, which I got at Bed Bath and Beyond, but you can order it from Amazon through the link labeled "hot pot.")

Instructions:
Boil the water. While the water is coming to a boil, put the tea bags at the mouth of the bottle you are going to use. Once the water has boiled, pour the water into the bottle and over the tea bags. Wait until the water gets to the color of dry autumn leaves (brown) and taste it. If it's strong enough for you, take out the tea bags. If you like sweet tea, add sugar. I personally drink tea with out sugar most of the time, so if you want to know how to make sweet tea, like SOUTHERN Sweet Tea, you'll have to go to my friend Arlene at Flour on my Face. (Well, okay, we aren't friends yet, but I can tell that we we will be soon, I mean, what a great name for a blog and though I won't be making sweet tea anytime soon, I love the way Arlene writes.)

Today's joke, courtesy of The Daily Tea:

Why did the tea get away?
Because it was loose.

Fresh eggs n'at

Hello! Welcome! This is my new blog. It's all about living on a prayer, counting pennies (and dollars), cooking, and cupcakes. Actually, it's my first day. I don't know what it will be about, yet, per se, but I'm guessing, since these are the things I'm thinking about these days.

I'm a librarian and book lover, so books will be mentioned, probably, and probably a lot.

On to the matter at hand.

Susan's Easy Hard Boiled Eggs

Ingredients
As many eggs as you want to boil

Equipment:
A pan

Instructions: Use the freshest eggs you have. More on this, below. Put the eggs in the pan. Cover them in COLD water. Put the water on medium, cover the pan, put a timer for 10 minutes, and come back and check. The water should be boiling. Take the pan off the heat, keep the cover on, and put the timer on for another 10 minutes. VOILA!

So why do you need to use fresh eggs, Sarah Louise?

The problem is not with the instructions. The problem is that as a single person, I sometimes have very old eggs in my fridge. (And sometimes more than one carton, because eggs were on SALE!) And of course one thinks, better use the old eggs first! Yes. For scrambled eggs. But not for hard boiled. Why? The eggs will float, for one. The water will not boil, for two (it's TRUE). And the shell will be even harder to remove than usual. Trust me. I've been there, done than, I have the t-shirt.

I'm sure there are scientific reasons for all of the above, but this is not a science blog. If you know the answers, put them (nicely) in the comments. I reserve the right to delete any comments that are not nice, B T Dubbs. (By the way.)  

Well, that's all for today. Come back soon, I'll be posting at least twice a week, and tweaking the layout/design as I go.

Oh, and here's today's joke, thanks to I love eggs:  

What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up!