Where are the [expletive] cupcakes?

So by now you are probably scratching your collective heads. This blog's title is "Sending Cupcakes" but nary a cupcake here, so far. WHAT GIVES??

So lemme tell you a story.

Once upon a time, on Twitter, there was a girl who loved cupcakes so much that she tweeted about them daily. (It wasn't me.) Around the same time, Facebook stopped having those "fake gifts" where you could send someone an egg and three days later it became a bouquet of flowers. So one day, I "sent" someone cupcakes on Twitter. And then I was sending someone a tent to cover them in the rain while they stood at the bus stop. And it became big and messy and I was sending all kinds of things every time one of my Twitter (and eventually Facebook) friends had a bad or good day.

So I had to reign it in. JUST CUPCAKES. And I'd even say, when something like a tornado happened, sorry, all I have are cupcakes, they'll have to do.

So what's the deal with lemon cupcakes? You always say they are the strongest. 

Well they are. Because they have a shared love.

A dear friend of mine on Twitter and real life, Katie, was doing PhD work in New England. And she'd take the train up and she'd tweet, there's this place that has cupcakes, but the best ones are the lemon cupcakes, you should have one! And so she'd "send" me a lemon cupcake. (Maybe this is how "sending cupcakes" started?) Anyways, I always send her lemon cupcakes when things go pear shaped in her life, or I just write "LEMON" and she knows the secret hand shake. I decided (it's great, inventing things) that other people needed lemon cupcakes occasionally, too, and I say, Lemon, because they are the strongest.

Then there are Tappan Zee cupcakes. Best described in the blog post from another blog I started eons ago, called "Cupcakes N'at."  The thing about my cupcakes is that they are a thought. A little party in a paper cup. They are perfect for weddings, funerals, bad days, and tornadoes. And since they are just a thought, they can be whatever flavor you like, or they can be cheese, if you don't eat cupcakes. I send cheese to Sara Zarr when she's having a bad day, good day, or tornado. Sara generally gets Gouda, because it's my favorite cheese, at least visually. So cheery with the red wax cover!

So how do people know what you mean?

Well, if their dog died and I say "sending cupcakes," they get it. I'm sending them for their doggie funeral to cheer them up. If they just got engaged, they have the foresight to know that I'm sending the mazel tov kind of cupcakes. Sometimes, though, it's in the diction:

Oh sweetie, sending cupcakes. 
EXPLETIVES [sic]*, sending cupcakes. (I try not to swear on social media)
Sending cupcakes!!

I am possessive of my cupcakes. They are not to be used to amuse me. They do not climb, they are not ninjas, they are not acrobats. If you want to take over another type of baked goods, I'm good. But sending cupcakes is plain, no adornment needed. A cupcake is enough.

So if you were wondering, what is up with the cupcakes, now you know. I haven't made actual cupcakes in ages. I do have cake mix to make some, thanks to a suggestion from Elizabeth Mosier, but I haven't gotten around to making them yet. It's just easier to send a thought, and less mess, especially across the Internet.

Sending cupcakes,
Sarah Louise

P.S. I didn't forget today's joke.

It comes from a site called Cupcake Puns. They didn't have the exact wording, but I forgave them because they had other fun cupcake images and jokes. Go! Visit! We're done here! (Well, read the joke first.)

What's up, Cupcake?
Muffin Much, you? 

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*sic erat scriptum, "thus was it written" [Thanks to this Wikipedia article]